Sunday, December 27, 2020,
Here I am, in 2020
Reaching my Pubirty,
Landing to My Fourtie,
Being Me
In away,
Relived, Relaxed,
No Family In My Way..
Not Feeling Alive,
Thats Like everybody..
Feeling alone with nonody...
7:48 AM
Friday, March 26, 2010,
Once an adult in disguise,
her knowledge greater than her years.
Her grown-up points of view belied
her sickening inner fears.
Her courage was but terror
and her strength was but her pain.
She determined that no one would ever
hurt her bad again.
Now the woman has a longing
for the childhood she has missed.
She yearns to turn the clock back
prior to the haze and mist,
to when life was all a sniff of sun,
a petalled ball of light,
when she loved and lived at leisure,
and where love was liquid night.
But that all seems far away now,
all those years have since then passed,
unable now to recollect
the scenes behind the mask.
Her memory protects her,
closes off her probing mind,
welding shut the doors of darkness hiding
nightmare truths behind.
Doesn’t she know she’ll never not remember
if she finds the truth?
Doesn’t she realise she’ll wish she had of
died within her youth?
‘Cause the pain that is unearthed is nigh
impossible to bear .....
and I know just how she feels,
‘cause I’ve been there.
7:59 AM
Saturday, March 20, 2010,
Democracy
to see your lover cheats on
you, but you just ignore it..coz its none of your business!!
you, but you just ignore it..coz its none of your business!!
Androgynus:
A Latin word means, andro: man
and gyne: woman ...but from what I experience in every day's actual life:
Ya'
Dunno what ya really are.. Every body mistakes with your (title) calling you
(Mr..) while you suppose to be (ms.) !! a loss of identity, and a huge
feeling
of (not- belonging)..
and gyne: woman ...but from what I experience in every day's actual life:
Ya'
Dunno what ya really are.. Every body mistakes with your (title) calling you
(Mr..) while you suppose to be (ms.) !! a loss of identity, and a huge
feeling
of (not- belonging)..
in modern countries, it would
be fixed by a psycho-therapy sessions, and identifying ur gender
assistmant,then
gender correction..surgery and thats it....!!
be fixed by a psycho-therapy sessions, and identifying ur gender
assistmant,then
gender correction..surgery and thats it....!!
but it means, that ya want be
able to get married, nor have normal relationship..coz it confuses you !
able to get married, nor have normal relationship..coz it confuses you !
"In CLOSET" :
Means, you
suppose to work ur ass hard to be such a girl while it hurts you from
inside!!
suppose to work ur ass hard to be such a girl while it hurts you from
inside!!
"BLESSED"
a
Coffee, a chick @ ur own place !!
Coffee, a chick @ ur own place !!
-2bcontinued-
2:01 PM
Sunday, February 14, 2010,
So,I went to UAE for few days..I wanted to have some relaxation, little booze, and to live a nice night life there...In Dubai,I arrived to the airport, got my lagguage, and went to the way to exit to (life)..
The first thing i noticed was that police man, who dare his friends to stop this torrist because he likes the hair..!!
Stopped me, saying excuse me, your passport please!
I Answered him in arabic, that my passport is in the bag, and if there is anything that I can help him with!!
He apologized, and stepped back outta shock!!
I dunno, but it seemed that this visit to Dubai was a total Gender Trauma....for everyone who dealt with me, starting from the reception lady, Mariana, to the Other police man in my way leaving to Bahrain!!
I step into any store in Dubai Mall or Mall of Emirate, a Shopping assistant comes to me everytime saying *Hi Sir, How can I Help you* and when I turn around some of them (Who recognized me being not a guy) would immediatelly replied with *Oh ma'am*..!!
I Know it confuses them, but I feel the same for whole of ma life...I Dunno where to belong to.... females' side, or males' side.... A girl or a Boy!! I really dont know....
I felt freedom... I felt that since everybody is living the same situation of me I would be alright...I just felt that am living like (the real me) No Abaya, Or head's Vail.... No restictions, on what I am doing or why I am doing it.... No One to judge me, If I stood outta the hotel enterance, smoking a cigi....!!
Damn......I really Liked that trip....I also knew that....I am neither a He, nor a She!!
Labels: androgyne, ftm, gender, sexuality, trauma
11:51 AM
Monday, January 25, 2010,
Ok, a saudi teen ager thought its funny to take her phone to school....no problem at all.... She took it and video cam her teacher!! Shitt!! This is considered to be a crime in Saudi Schools, especially that its forbidden to get the phones there, or to use such technology with (a cam)!!
Please read the article.....
The Article
4:24 AM
Thursday, January 21, 2010,
HI
12:44 PM